Since the, 1990s, asexuality has gained prominence as an identity adopted by individuals who do not experience sexual attraction. Paradoxically, many asexual individuals form relationships through Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) – acts conventionally assumed to involve sexual desire and pleasure. I interviewed 15 asexual individuals to illuminate why they participate in interactions where sexual attraction is often expected and expressed. I propose that BDSM helps these practitioners form non-sexual relationships by providing tools for navigating sexual expectations and redefining their behaviors as indicative of affections that do not stem from sexual desire.