You Did What? The Relationship Between Forgiveness Tendency, Communication of Forgiveness, and Relationship Satisfaction in Married and Dating Couples

Abstract

Willingness to forgive is one of the most important factors contributing to healing and restoring damaged relationships. Although recent studies have emphasized the link between forgiveness and positive communication, this is among the first studies to examine how tendency to forgive influences the strategies married and dating couples use to communicate forgiveness to each other. According to the Vulnerability-Stress-Adaptation model, links among vulnerabilities, stressors, and behaviors lead to changes in marital satisfaction and stability. One hundred and seventy-four participants completed a survey regarding their attitudes and beliefs about forgiveness after an isolated transgression, as well as their general response tendency within a given relationship. Participants were also asked about the severity of transgression and their overall relationship satisfaction after the event. Results showed that dating couples who have a higher natural tendency to forgive use nonverbal (hugging, kissing) and explicit (“I forgive you”) strategies. Among married individuals, severity of transgression was a more important factor when deciding which forgiveness strategy to use.