Walking the walk, talking the talk: Love languages, self‐regulation, and relationship satisfaction

Abstract

AbstractMuch clinical work has utilized G. Chapman's (1995) “love languages” model to promote relationship satisfaction, yet the model remains untested. This study addressed this issue by testing the hypothesis that couples with aligned love languages would report higher relationship satisfaction; we also explored the role that self‐regulation played in promoting satisfaction. A total of 67 heterosexual couples were assessed on love language preference, self‐regulation, and relationship satisfaction. Results provided limited evidence that love language alignment promotes satisfaction; self‐regulation contributed greater variance in satisfaction. Dyadic analyses identified that female self‐regulation positively impacted both male and female relationship satisfaction when couples had dissimilar primary love languages, although significant actor effects were also important predictors for both genders. The outcomes of this study suggest that the effectiveness of Chapman's model may be dependent on both spouses exhibiting appropriate self‐regulatory behaviors and that female self‐regulation plays an important role in predicting relationship satisfaction for both partners when they have different preferred love languages.