Abstract
By placing so much emphasis on systemic thinking, marriage and family therapists have lost sight of the individual within the system. One of the limits of a systemic therapy is its capacity to deal with problems in intimacy, a central problem in marital therapy. A knowledge of individual development is crucial for family therapists. The two themes dealt with in this paper are 1) some concepts of self psychology which can be useful in understanding the fear of intimacy, and 2) at what point, in couples' therapy, it is advisable to shift to individual therapy for one or both partners.
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