Schizophrenic Fucker

Abstract

Schizophrenic Fucker Christopher Soto (bio) For Scottie Ah damn // I love you man. I find you in some cheap M O E L with a fainted neon T.I find you cackling in an open field // cracking skies open like lightning With your laughter. I find your arms tattooed with my poems. Because I'm the only poet you know. Because you love how I'm always looking for // or finding you. Walking with your asthmatic dog that isn't yours anymore. Walking aside railroad tracks before curfew at the sober living house. Walking with that meth head & her three kids.Why are you yelling at them // & my mom says they're not allowed over Anymore. Or are you walking back to prison. Or what is your cell phone number now. Or I'm in the garage asking your mom // when she saw you last. Or I'm crying in a minivan // & feeling like a dumb bitch. I can't find you under my fingernails. I can't find you // asking anorexics for dieting advice. I can't find you anywhere. & I remember you before prescription drugs // that led to Nonprescription drugs. How we'd surf alongside dolphins // waves dancing on our backs. How California clams // would hang on pillars of the pier. How many false goodbyes // before I say goodbye. Where are you // goodbye. [End Page 52] Christopher Soto Christopher Soto is a poet based in Brooklyn, New York. His work has appeared in Poetry, Tin House, American Poetry Review, and more. For more information, visit www.christophersoto-poet.com. Copyright © 2018 University of Nebraska Press