Parent and adolescent conversations about hurt: How interaction patterns predict empathic accuracy and perceived understanding

Abstract

ABSTRACT Although hurt feelings might be inevitable in parent–adolescent relationships, follow-up conversations provide an opportunity for reconciliation and learning. This research considers how interaction patterns affect empathic accuracy and perceived understanding by examining the conversations of 98 parent–adolescent dyads regarding an event when adolescents felt hurt by something their parent said or did. Analysis of the interactions revealed three distinct interaction patterns: parental probing/adolescent withdrawal, mutual confrontation, and supportive listening. Although empathic accuracy remained low for all groups, supportive listening was associated with greater empathic accuracy for children and greater perceived understanding for both parents and adolescents. Analysis of specific thoughts reported during video review of the interactions revealed that parents often over-attributed negative thoughts to children, especially parents in the probing/withdrawal group.