“No matter what I do, it’s not good enough”: practicing “good” parenting and emotional burden among high-ses parents

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ABSTRACT This article examines two primary questions: characterises the parenting culture of high-SES parents (in terms of income, education, occupation, and residence) whose children are enrolled in an elite high school? Does the parenting culture of parents of elite high school students play a role in cultivating privileges, and if so, how? To answer these questions, we interviewed 30 pairs of parents whose children were enrolled in such a school in Israel. The study’s main findings revealed three characteristics of elite parenting culture: a frantic preoccupation with practicing good parenting, adopting metaphors for elite parenting (characterised by a sense of distinction from other parents, including their biological parents), and acknowledgement of elite parenting’s emotional burden (characterised by a feeling of deficiency). The Discussion addresses how the characteristics of an elite parenting culture serve as badges of distinction and as mechanisms for cultivating and preserving privilege and inequality. The price of privilege among elite parents is also discussed.