Men and women in relationships: what are the similarities and differences? Are men really from Mars and women from Venus?

Abstract

Although it is not a general rule, there are many men who suffer from the fact that women are not alike. There are many women however, who are equally frustrated that men are not more like women. Many couples get divorced and many suffer from relationship problems such as lack of communication and negotiation. Is this due to uniqueness and differences of the individual partners or due to differences between men and women? This presentation refers to the differences between the way men and women communicate and behave in relationships especially in marital relationships and emphasize the fact that marriage is most likely to work if it is conceptualised less as a romantic dream and more as an ordinary working relationship between two people whose individual needs, expectations and responses will flow through different rhythms. One of the implications of gender differences is on couple therapy. If different sexes diverge with regard to expectations from the relationship and therapy, it becomes difficult for counsellors to satisfy both partners equally simultaneously. Men seem reluctant to go to counselling as counselling and psychotherapy fits in better with the characteristics of the women. When men go, most of the time it is too late to change anything. Therefore for the sake of the couple, maybe counselling needs to be more attractive for males. Thus it becomes a requirement for the therapist to know more about gender differences if there are any. That is of course not to imply that he must be wearing glasses biased with gender stereotypes. In a politically correct world not many people want to talk about gender differences but equality must not be equated with the need to demonstrate similarity and deny differences. It is important to celebrate differences but first they need to be recognized. Males and females need to learn to grow in diversity. This presentation, with fun and humour, will focus on similarities and differences between males and females at different stages of the relationship.