Abstract

ABSTRACT The experience of pregnancy and motherhood is complex and changeable, marked by feelings of fulfilment, growth, and joy, but also depression, stress, anxiety, increased conflict, and regret. Yet the chaotic realities of motherhood remain taboo subjects, rarely discussed, in society and across the media. This paper shows how discussion forums can work as powerful outlets to capture the meaningful expression of viewpoints that mothers may not feel able to articulate or confess elsewhere. These anonymous online spaces offer a supportive space where the reality of the often-hidden maternal experience can be communicated, in resistance to the dominant narratives reinforcing the idea of the “good” mother. Analysis of UK forum Mumsnet suggests that public digital communities provide a valuable space to explore a socially relevant research area relating to maternal suicide and lived experience. This paper responds to a need to understand how women discuss suicidal thoughts, facilitating an understanding of the hidden discourse around motherhood. Through thematic analysis of Mumsnet posts (n = 4,186), five themes were identified: escaping the burden of motherhood; motherhood or pregnancy trauma as a trigger; feeling that children would be better off without them; children being a reason to live; and perceived shameful thoughts leading to silenced feelings.

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