Letting in the Light – Finding Your Tragic Hero

Abstract

In this essay, Nadja Alexander explores the melodramatic nature of the tales we tell when we are stuck in difficult conversations and tense situations. Whether in public or private life, when we find ourselves in conflict we tend to use particular storytelling patterns called melodramatic narratives. Here we explore the potentially destructive nature of these conflict storytelling patterns and consider the extent to which they are wired into the default mechanisms of our DNA. Drawing upon ideas from the practice of storytelling, narrative structures, and conflict coaching theory, Nadja shows how we can mindfully engage our emotional intelligence, to find our own inner hero—the tragic hero. In doing so, we can shift the way we think about conflict from the blame pattern of melodrama to the problem-solving yet realistic structure of tragedy. Yes, life wasn’t meant to be easy, but it doesn’t have to be a melodrama. Nadja Alexander explains how we can use the narrative of tragedy in the conflicts of public and private life to engage even the most challenging of adversaries.