Abstract
Purpose – The purpose of this case study is to highlight the importance of empowering and meeting the “higher needs” of the very old, which prolong a fulfilling life. Frailty in old age need not be feared and abhorred if society would accept that all of us need to live our lives as we wish until the end, and value those who assist us to do this. With the right attitudes to ageing and death and with the appropriate investment for a seamless care system that listens to, and functions well for those who need it, old age should be as enriching as any other time in life. Design/methodology/approach – Personal narrative of the author's parents ageing, this paper gives the background and personality of the frail older person and his wife, that contextualises the challenges they face in his very old age. The professional and personal experiences of the author as she tackles the obstacles to support them are drawn from her career in social care with memories from diaries written, as she accompanies her parents on their journey of physical and mental deterioration along with a quest for realising what they have and making the most of it. Findings – Given how challenging this journey is for an informed family, the implications are that in 2013 our “civilised” society still misunderstands the special and complex needs of frail older people, devalues them, and writes them off with institutionalised, rigid attitudes and services instead of working creatively to improve their lives. The paper observes how deeply rooted this is in us all. Originality/value – The combination of the author's background in social work and expertise in health and care with living so close to relatively unusually long-lived parents, offers a unique insight into why it is so challenging to achieve quality of life for very older people needing care and should be of interest to CCGs, social services departments, older people's care providers and carer and user organisations.
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