Abstract
The au pair scheme is not intended as a migration route, yet it often becomes precisely this. This chapter explores au pairs’ intimate relations and their potential to facilitate access to formal as well as informal citizenship. By drawing on au pairs’ narratives of dating and their relations to host families, the chapter maps au pairs’ access to citizenship. This is highly gendered, and intertwined with their personal and intimate relationships with host families/employers, as well as with partners or potential partners. Yet, while narratives of dating suggest a greater degree of agency for au pairs compared to their dependence on host families for formal and informal citizenship, it still entails a sense of cruel optimism as citizenship is always governed from above.
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