“Coercive Care” or “Ur-wir [Great-we]”: Communication and Cooperation in Couples Where One Partner Has Been Diagnosed with Dementia

Abstract

According to the World Health Organization, dementia is an assembly of conditions with rapidly increasing numbers of afflicted individuals. Whereas the standard medical model focuses on the individual whose brain deteriorates and who therefore needs help, few studies treat dementia as a social phenomenon. This study—part of a larger investigation into the changing nature of the relations within couples where one individual suffers from severe changes in the brain—reports on the irreducibly social dimensions of coping with everyday life activities that involve both partners. We draw on the occasions of shaving and brushing teeth in one couple to exemplify our broader findings of the irreducibly joint work accomplished to successfully complete mundane activities. We draw on the Vygotskian notion of the Ur-wir (Great-we) and on Merleau-Ponty’s notion of the dual sensation touching-touched to discuss issues related to identity, solidarity, and ethics of care.