Ambiguity, Ambivalence, and Awakening: A South Asian Becoming "Critically" Aware of Race in America

Abstract

Ambiguity, Ambivalence, and Awakening: A South Asian Becoming 'Critically' Aware of Race in America was the winner of the Angela Harris Award for Outstanding Student Writing at the Critical Race Theory 20 Conference. It my critical race autobiography, where I describe my experiences growing up as a South Asian American -- a racially ambiguous figure -- during the implementation of school desegregation in New Castle County, Delaware. I relay some of my racial encounters in elementary and high school, and then discuss my undergraduate years at the University of Delaware; my graduate school education at the University of Pennsylvania; and my law school and legal academic ambitions at New York University School of Law. In the process, my essay explores nuances of racial identity and inequality that are manifested through everyday experiences in various settings. Upon first reading this essay, the late Professor Derrick Bell, whom I worked with closely at NYU, said to me: you had been far more sensitive to the pushes and pulls of race in your growing up than I was back in the 1940s and 50s. I responded to him that this is because I had the benefit of reading your work... before I actually wrote the essay.